


Habi?

by orphan_account



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Drunk Dialing, Heartbreak, Lost Hope, Pain, Post-Break Up, References to Depression, Self-Hatred, Slight-blood, angsty feels, short and sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:12:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: hi im bored.





	1. Chapter 1

_voicemail 2:33 am_

 

_Haaaaabii? H-nnnngh. -abi. Y-youuuu!! You hoome?_

 

_Nnnnmiss you Habiiii when coming home?_

 

Loud giggles.

 

_Haabiii where you? I home from b-bbaarr! I drink shot tweeeeenty your fa-rite! You pr-proud m-mem? I do more mooore next time tweny if nonuffhh._

 

 _I... HOOOME!_  The sickening sound of shattered glass. _Whenghhh you... youuu...._

 

_Want Habi... Where Haaaabi...._

_Habi home to you Yuuuuzu. Yuzu wait looong long so LOOONG!!_

 

A crash. A thud.

 

_Yuzu wait so long huh-Ha-aabi where **is**?!_

 

A pause. A whine. A halfhearted sob.

 

_....habi where is?_

 

Javi's hands trembled, phone nearly jumping out of his grasp. It wasn't what he had expected, after nearly 5 months of silence. Tears ran down his cheeks in frustration, wishing he could just teleport over to what used to be their shared apartment, where Yuzu must be passed out on the floor next to broken glass and a shattered soul of his own.

 

 

Instead, he had to get himself together within the next minute, to enjoy a glass of wine and a starry night with Marina on the balcony of her humble home in Madrid.

 

 

 

 


	2. pieces of what used to be you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru wakes up from the night before. Sober, awake, malnourished, and depressed, he battles his demons as the most precious thing in his life fades away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi uhhh i felt bad for not continuing this so i did and im really sleepy but i feel obligated so here is this... thing... that wrote itself. It's highly overdramatic but we learn from the overlord yes?
> 
> Okay goodnight sorry if this sucks I got burnt today and am in a foul mood. :C

 

Yuzuru woke slowly, the first thing floating into his vision a single, red blob. He blinked blearily as tears formed in his eyes from the exposure of the bright light of the morning. He groaned as he let them roll down his cheeks, his arms too heavy to brush them away. The water in his eyes rippled away, and he recognized the fallen object as a dried, crimson rose petal. He croaked softly at the sight, corners of his mouth turning upwards. Roses had always been special to him. To Yuzuru, roses meant oaths, love, _him_.

_"itsumo anata t- AH!"_

 

Yuzuru jolted awake. The rose! Where-

 

His body flailed upright from the floor, and Yuzuru didn't dare look away from the fallen petal. He was only vaguely aware of the shards of glass that were scattered beneath where he sat on the floor, digging mercilessly into his palms and cruelly drawing blood from them. But when his wide eyes finally flitted to his left, he saw where the dry stalk of grass lay, what used to to be petals adorning them mauled by the crystal knives that once encapsulated it, protected it when they were whole. Yuzuru wheezed painfully.

 

_"No! Nonononono!"_

 

Yuzuru stumbled to his feet, only to crumple back down to his knees in exhaustion -- he couldn't remember the last time he ate. He'd never start dinner without him, it wasn't the same when he couldn't enjoy his meal under the sunny smile that burned from across the table, but it had been quite a while. He paid it no attention when his cut palms scrambled across the floor, extracting the remains of the red rose petals from the floor of the ground. His head pounded painfully, mouth craved water, but the rose, the rose!

 

In a haze of madness, Yuzuru snatched the far-gone stem of his beloved flower and pinched it's brittle form between his fingers as his other hand smothered the collected pieces of red against the tip, petals falling uselessly to the ground no matter how hard he tried to fix it all. Yuzuru growled, screamed in frustration as he tried only more desperately, there's nothing Yuzuru Hanyu can't do, nothing, nothing, nothing. 

He could still hear the words from when he first delicately placed the small bud into his most precious vase, a seemingly insignificant event from when Yuzuru had been in the middle of washing the dishes: Javier's breath ghosting behind him, his own surprised squeak as he jumped, only to see his lover holding the flower with care. Angrily, he recollected the pieces that fell from his palms, scooping up shards as he pressed them back on the stem in pure desperation, nothing but the red blood from his hands coating the dried stalk.

_"Keep it with you always. The rose is me, Yusu! I am with you as long as you keep me. Have it safe, and it will remind you of me always. And I am there with you, always. Itsumo anata to. Te amo, Yusuru."_

 

_Yusuru, yusuru, yusuru, yusu, mi vida, mi amor, cari, yusu, yusu_

 

Yuzuru threw his head up to the sky and screamed, loud and guttural, in a haze of madness, and when it died in his throat, he looked back down to see a mosaic of mauled petals, a snapped stem, shards of glass, and speckles of blood pattering on the floor, still rolling from his hands in small streams. 

 

"Javi." Yuzuru choked.

 

Where was he? He would return, wouldn't he? He promised. He swore! He swore on the-

 

Yuzuru could only look back on the floor for a second before he squeezed his eyes shut and wailed.

 

_I'm sorry, Javi! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break it! I'll grow you a new one, and it will be the same! Please! Just come back!_

 

"Jabi!" he sobbed loudly. "Jabi! Jabi!"

 

His never ending calls for his lover echoed through the air. If Javi could only hear him, he would come. He was sure of it. _He loves me. He loves me. Come home!_

 

And suddenly it was very cold.

 

_But he left you, Yuzuru. He's gone._

 

No!

 

_You're pathetic. Are you playing pretend just so you can escape the harsh reality of your life?_

 

Nnn!

 

_You're hopeless. It's obvious she's the reason you dyed your hair that ugly shade of brown. Idiot, Javi didn't leave you because of that. He just doesn't like, you! anymore! _

 

Yuzuru wheezed, shaking his head, begging for the voice to retreat, to leave him be.

 

_You're worthless. You weren't made to be loved. You're just an exhibit. A show animal. A circus freak._

 

_You're just a slave with a dream that has played you like a puppet and won._

 

Yuzuru dropped to his palms, head bowed down to the floor, ribs heaving as they strained against his skin. Light driven out of his eyes, he found what he was really meant to be after all. 

 

And quietly, he shrank back into his stale, cold heart. Dull eyes bored into the carcass of the flower that had given him hope but really lied to him for all this time.

 


End file.
